As I shared about A Miracle a few days ago, comes the sharing of diappointment. Today, I had the expectation of my sister coming to church. The miracle of this occasion... dashed with a giant bucket of disappointment... no show. My heart was completely crushed as I stood on stage during baptisms and didn't see her face or my niece in the back.
In this comes hope with the baptisms. I assisted with eight baptisms this weekend... three being my friends and three being the Christen girls. I've watched Annabella, Madeline, and Catherine grow so much since I started attending Faith Center. This summer, I was there as Maddie accepted Christ in her life at Kids camp... I was there. I prayed with her to recieve the Holy Spirit... a first for me, and a seriously eye opening experience for both of us. God was there. And I cry when I see the power of God in this little girl, as well as her sisters! It makes me realize that life altering decisions will not happen over night. I have been waiting five years for my sisters to see the truth. And as God slowly breaks through my sister, I am expecting her to show up praising Jesus... and that is an expectation I am pushing too hard... I can't help it! All I want in this life is for my family to see Truth... to see Christ. All I want is to stand next to them in church praising God and what He has done. And as the walls break on my sister, I have become impatient. It isn't my timing, clearly. But it's happening. I was devestated beyond belief today. I haven't cried or hugged that much in years... or so it feels that way. I know it isn't my timing, but that little glimmer of hope is just yelling "Here I am!!" So there I go... expecting and being disappointed. Nothing breaks my heart more than this disappointment... all i want...
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