To grow in joy

Today for our devotional time we meditated on part of Deuteronomy 30:19

I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life.

I wanted to know what it was exactly that God meant by choose life.  So I asked....
God, Choosing life means... Strength. To Love. A Purpose. I paused. 
So... then what is my purpose?
To love.  To grow.  Joy. 
Joy?  I get it.  I do.  But how does that come alongside growth?
I no longer want you to grow in pain.  I want you to grow in joy. 
What does that mean?
You have suffered far too much.  I don't want you to grow because of pain any longer.  I want you to grow because of joy.  Because of the good in life.  No more growth in struggle.  You've done that your entire life.

I cried.  Figures.  But this time it was different.  I cried out of joy.  God knows exactly what I need.... I want to grow but I haven't seen much growth in the last few months... and it's because I was looking for it in the wrong places.  I was looking where I always had... in pain and struggle.  But over the last few months God has been telling me that I need not to suffer any longer.  I am going to experience joy.  That is my growing point.  I haven't seen this before and I think God wants to stretch me again.  It isn't like my life has been in the pits for nearly twenty two years.... It has just been a fight.  I struggled through divorces, eating disorders, abandonment issues, family drug problems, hatred, self hatred.... and now God is saying enough.  I've grown through those trials... I made it through.  But now He wants me to grow in joy.... something I have never experienced.  It will be overwhelming and so exciting... but I have to realize that this is a normal thing: happiness.  Not something I have experienced much of.  A fun night out.  Good conversations.  Fun events. All temporary.  But now God is saying I will be living a life of utter joy.  And I can't wait to share it with the world.

January 9

I AM WITH YOU AND FOR YOU. When you decide on a course of action that is in line with My will, nothing in heaven or on earth can stop you. You may encounter many obstacles as you move toward your goal, but don't be discouraged--Never give up!  With My help, you can overcome any obstacle.  Do not expect an easy path as you journey hand in hand with Me, but do remember that I, your very present Helper, am omnipotent. 
Much, much stress stress results from your wanting to make things happen before their times have come.  One of the main ways I assert My sovreignty is in the timeing of events.  If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment.  Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace.  Slow down, and enjoy the journey in My Presence.

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?
Romans 8:31

God is our refuge and strength, A very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, Even though the earth be removed, And though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Though its waters roar and be troubled, Though the mountains shake with its swelling.
Psalm 46: 1-3

For with God nothing will be impossible.
Luke 1: 37

Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

When God gives you a chance to say "yes!"

I wrote my personal constitution this year in my spiritual leadership class.  Six pages (could have been longer) of my life calling, life goals, and my values.  One of my values (that I guess could be considered a goal as well) is to persevere.  In detail, I never want to say no to something that I know God has said I should do.  I always said no to missions.  "Heck no," I'd laugh, or people would laugh if I ever brought it up.  "Teresa? In Mexico?"  Yeah.  so you see my hesitation.  Where I regret.  I regret saying no to the past.  But I made it a value to NEVER say no to God again.  Yeah.  Difficult.  Even when I know He has a much better plan than I do.  Figures, as soon as I make this a value God says to do something absolutely insane.  Go to Russia.  It took three days before it hit me that I was going.  I knew as soon as it was suggested to me that I was going.... but it took three days for me to be like.... okay.... Uhm, sure?  And now, weeks later, I am reading as fast as I can, filling out an endless amount of paperwork, making appointments, emails, phone calls.... and I'm not the least bit terrified.  I'm nervous, seeing as I have never lived anywhere but here.  I'm nervous because I've never left anyone behind. But financially, spiritually, mentally.... I'm like, Let's Do This!!  No more fear.  No more shock from people when I say I'm going to be a missionary.  I'm going into this more confident than ever. And it's because I said yes.  God makes a way when you are open to His plans, when you are willing to go out on a limb with Him.  So I'm on this limb and I'm jumping with Him.  And I can't wait.