It isn't Goodbye...

This year has been tough with goodbyes.  First, was my mom.  Today was for Shakeh and Michael. And come August, my Best Friend.  The thing is, I don't know how to feel.  I mean, I'm hurt, heart broken, and completely depressed.  But this kind of thing is supposed to be good for you, right?  I mean they are going somewhere new with a new purpose in life.  You are supposed to be happy for them.  Maybe I just don't understand, but what I do know is that I don't like this feeling.  I am happy for everyone's new lives, but what about their part in my life? I am being completely and utterly selfish, I know, but in this instance I really don't care.

Shakeh and Michael have been in my life for the last 3 years.  Shakeh was painting my toes for Junior Prom the first time I met her.  It feels like so long ago, but it really isn't.  From there she was my small group leader, my cabin leader, a friend, a partner in leadership, a mentor, and someone i became very close with.  Her constant words of encouragement and persistence for me to keep going has made me into a stronger person.  Tonight I prayed for her and Michael.  You have no idea how big of a deal that is for me. I have never prayed in front of a group of people like that before.  The reason why I could? Shakeh has been pushing, motivating, and encouraging me for THREE years to pray in front of people.  At first i wouldn't even do it with the two of us over a meal.  She showed me the path toward God and the right way to go.  I can't even explain who I have become because of this woman... and for that, I am eternally grateful.  Michael has been someone I look up to.  We bonded over crunches and ridiculous conversation.  He has never hesitated to tell me when I am out of line (or as he likes to do, refer to me as "young lady") nor has he been afraid to give me some much needed advice.  We had many conversations about cars, where he patiently would explain how something worked, and bless his heart, I never understood.  He always welcomed Amanda and I in just to veg out on the couches while he worked or went and did things in town.  And he has always reminded me to do my "duty" as another person in the world, and help those around me.  Okay, so he also ruined the word "duty" for me.  Any time I hear that word I will think of him.  Michael and Shakeh have welcomed me into their family with open arms and hearts.  They trusted Amanda and I with their home and animals (basically their children) while they were away. And eventually it didn't phase them any more when they came downstairs or home to the two of us watching LOST or eating in the kitchen.  I don't know what life without them will be (probably lacking), but I do know that the people in Florida are gaining the most positive, encouraging, and loving people that I have ever had a pleasure to know.   I will miss them more than I can even comprehend myself, but i know that they have fulfilled their purpose here. They are ready to face their next calling from God and live their lives for Him.

Summer Camp 2009

Secret Agents... 2009?

Fourth of July 2010

Fourth Again

Shakeh took a glam shot of Amanda and I tanning and watching LOST in her backyard

Memories

Young Adults Retreat 2010

Virgin Margaritas, Party Straws, and LOST

Ladies

 Love her

For whatever reason, I have no pictures of Michael.  Surprise, Surprise.  Anyway, as you can see, I have spent some time with the Chocholak's.  I even learned how to spell their last name... haha.  

I would like to say that this is not goodbye.  Because I have never handled goodbyes well, and I am in denial.  Instead... we'll say see you soon. 

So, Shakeh and Michael?  I love you.  Always. I'll see you soon.  

Brace Face!

Growing up, i was bullied for my very crooked teeth.  I have wanted and needed braces for a very long time.  And on January 3, 2011, thanks to God for blessing me with Deb Cawvy, was the first day I started my "treatment plan" for my very messed up teeth. I have some pictures (not exactly something I want to flaunt) that I want to post to show the progress from the last 6 amazing months. I started out with spacers. Basically retainers that expanded every 3 days to get my jaw to expand and round out.

 January 3, 2011... the front view

January 3, 2011.... the side (look how far out my front tooth is sicking out!)

May 19, 2011- Got my braces on May 20, 2011

May 22, 2011.... Braces on!

Today!

Today I got my braced tightened and colors changed. i moved up two wire sizes instead of one. And I got the "chain" put across the six front teeth. this will close the space on the right side of my mouth and my front teeth will be together. I go back in 2 weeks to get bands put on my back teeth. then back in a week to get impressions. then back in 2 weeks to get a wire permanently (or semi- permanent) across the roof of my mouth. The appointment after that will be to shrink a tooth (down size/shave part of it off) and then bottom brackets.

The difference between January and now is amazing and i can't even EXPLAIN how amazing this experience is!! I thank God constantly for his :)

Hello!

So... welcome to my new blog! I deleted my last blog about a year ago, and I have recently realized how much I have missed this!  This is just going to be an update on my life in the last year... I plan on updating this every now and then. However, it will be completely different than my previous blog.  It will be more for the internship and updating everyone about my life in the program. But for the summer, it will just be for fun :)

So, I'm pretty sure I deleted my blog last summer so I guess I will start there.  Last summer is about the time where I stopped volunteering with the Youth to focus on school and watching kids. My niece turned one (now almost two). Dated a boy (totally unimportant to this post). I took a few classes in the fall and, for the first time in eight years, i didn't play volleyball. I wanted to refocus my life on God and the schedule for sports is rigorous. I did however, start Salsa dancing, which I have found to be amazing. It is fun, I have met a lot of new friends, and I picked it up really quickly.  I now dance two to three times a month... used to be weekly, but summer has prevented a lot of that. I attended the women's retreat and young adults camp at Old Oak Ranch. I also spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with the Strombecks. I'm not sure what else to say about August-December... since I didn't do anything really exciting.  2011, however, is a little different. A lot has happened. I've started watching kids 4-5 times a week (5-10 hours a day). My little sister (18) moved out. I started (and about to finish) my first semester at North Coast Bible Institute. My parents got divorced and my Mom moved to Arizona. I started attending Salsa Night at the Winery 2-3 times a month. I stopped teaching at Celebration Station after a year. I visited Lindsay a few times. I found out my best friend is moving away in the fall to go to school. Rebekah started Monday Movie Night and now I go once a week (except this month) I have been having date nights with Emily. Oh... and I turned twenty and got braces!! I am starting to realize that i don't do much... My social life includes hanging out with Amanda, Caleb, and Amy. That and hanging with Rebekah, Shakeh, Dani, Shawna, and Misty.  I practically live at the Messner's (literally have for the last 2.5 weeks) and spent mother's day with Heidi.  It is now my last week of classes. I have a final tomorrow that I have spent 8 hours studying for, and I have a take home due on Thursday.  I have kids consistently Monday-Thursday, average week being 32 hours.  After my finals are in, my summer will begin with Amy graduating High School.  We plan to go on roadtrips, take tons of pictures, make music videos, go to concerts.... we have a list.  We plan to spend our last summer living it up (and working).  I have one trip planned in early July to go and visit Lindsay Rasmussen in Sacramento, sort of as a last chance to hang out and talk with my mentor before the internship starts.

About that internship.... It starts August 12 (ish?), and I will be working full time at the church (a dream) and attending NCBI.  I am nervous and excited for this experience.  I can not wait to build a better relationship with God (not that I'm not already), and serve Him in the way I know I have been called to do.  I plan to get my Pastors license at the end of the two years and become a Children's Pastor. I love kids, and what is a better way to spend time with them then teaching them about the love of Jesus??

I just said a lot. and it is all over the place, but it is late, and i am getting used to my new computer so I expect some typos.  I won't go through all 10000 pictures (no exaggeration) and post them from this year... I posted them on my blog on the sides... if I didn't or did post a picture that you did or didn't want up there, just let me know. I'd be happy to put up or take down any pictures.

Like I said, this is mainly for the internship, but I will be posting other random posts as well :)

God Bless!