It isn't Goodbye...

This year has been tough with goodbyes.  First, was my mom.  Today was for Shakeh and Michael. And come August, my Best Friend.  The thing is, I don't know how to feel.  I mean, I'm hurt, heart broken, and completely depressed.  But this kind of thing is supposed to be good for you, right?  I mean they are going somewhere new with a new purpose in life.  You are supposed to be happy for them.  Maybe I just don't understand, but what I do know is that I don't like this feeling.  I am happy for everyone's new lives, but what about their part in my life? I am being completely and utterly selfish, I know, but in this instance I really don't care.

Shakeh and Michael have been in my life for the last 3 years.  Shakeh was painting my toes for Junior Prom the first time I met her.  It feels like so long ago, but it really isn't.  From there she was my small group leader, my cabin leader, a friend, a partner in leadership, a mentor, and someone i became very close with.  Her constant words of encouragement and persistence for me to keep going has made me into a stronger person.  Tonight I prayed for her and Michael.  You have no idea how big of a deal that is for me. I have never prayed in front of a group of people like that before.  The reason why I could? Shakeh has been pushing, motivating, and encouraging me for THREE years to pray in front of people.  At first i wouldn't even do it with the two of us over a meal.  She showed me the path toward God and the right way to go.  I can't even explain who I have become because of this woman... and for that, I am eternally grateful.  Michael has been someone I look up to.  We bonded over crunches and ridiculous conversation.  He has never hesitated to tell me when I am out of line (or as he likes to do, refer to me as "young lady") nor has he been afraid to give me some much needed advice.  We had many conversations about cars, where he patiently would explain how something worked, and bless his heart, I never understood.  He always welcomed Amanda and I in just to veg out on the couches while he worked or went and did things in town.  And he has always reminded me to do my "duty" as another person in the world, and help those around me.  Okay, so he also ruined the word "duty" for me.  Any time I hear that word I will think of him.  Michael and Shakeh have welcomed me into their family with open arms and hearts.  They trusted Amanda and I with their home and animals (basically their children) while they were away. And eventually it didn't phase them any more when they came downstairs or home to the two of us watching LOST or eating in the kitchen.  I don't know what life without them will be (probably lacking), but I do know that the people in Florida are gaining the most positive, encouraging, and loving people that I have ever had a pleasure to know.   I will miss them more than I can even comprehend myself, but i know that they have fulfilled their purpose here. They are ready to face their next calling from God and live their lives for Him.

Summer Camp 2009

Secret Agents... 2009?

Fourth of July 2010

Fourth Again

Shakeh took a glam shot of Amanda and I tanning and watching LOST in her backyard

Memories

Young Adults Retreat 2010

Virgin Margaritas, Party Straws, and LOST

Ladies

 Love her

For whatever reason, I have no pictures of Michael.  Surprise, Surprise.  Anyway, as you can see, I have spent some time with the Chocholak's.  I even learned how to spell their last name... haha.  

I would like to say that this is not goodbye.  Because I have never handled goodbyes well, and I am in denial.  Instead... we'll say see you soon. 

So, Shakeh and Michael?  I love you.  Always. I'll see you soon.