I haven't had a lot of positive days in the last few weeks. My Grandpa was diagnosed with an agressive lung cancer two weeks ago which could have already spread to his brain (we find out Friday). My other Grandad has decided to give up on life and doesn't think he'll make it until Christmas. My sister is back to her old habits from before rehab. Drugs. Alcohol. She is stealing from my sisters and my Dad, and she lives in the same house with both my nieces, which I'm not comfortable with. It's been an emotional whirlwind with the Kids Karnival, midterms, papers, constant travelling, sickness, rehearsal, interning, and stress. So as you can imagine, I have been struggling. Yesterday the reality of my life hit me and I broke down. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm sick. I'm exhausted. I can't lose my family. I just got them back. God, WHY?!
Yesterday was a struggle. And today... today I woke up exhausted, dizzy, and discouraged once again. But as I listen to worship music and read my Bible, I'm encouraged. Yes, I am still on the brink of tears at all times, but I feel like there is a shield protecting me. A shield of Love. God is holding on to me. I tried to run and He caught me, He's cradling me. I tried to give up. He told me "No," and grabbed on. I'm safe. I'm warm. I'm loved. I feel it. Especially today.
"Whatever you're facing, you don't have to go through it alone." Joyce Meyer
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