Deuteronomy 31:5-7
It has been a difficult week. Okay. How about, difficult few days. Starting with Thursday. 7am. Homework. 9am. Bible Study. I'm up. I burst in to tears. Not quite what I had in mind. After Bible study... hysterics once again. What is my problem? Lack of sleep. Lack of prayer. Lack of faith. And my Dad is leaving. Okay, he left. Afternoon. Facilities. Music Loud. Vocals out of tune. A whole lot of mopping. Work day over. 2 hours of homework. 3 hours of class. I fall asleep in class. I don't think I have ever done that. Misty's. Home at 11. Rookie Blue. Bed. Friday. 7am alarm. Fail. 9am alarm. Groaning. Trip to Ferndale. Paint. Move Stuff. Clean up. Homework. 4pm. Home. last night with my Daddy. movie. hanging out. ignoring the idea of Saturday morning. ignoring the idea of Goodbye. Quality time. The Help with Kelsey. home. Bed. Saturday. 7:45am. First thought. "Stupid Bigfoot." No joke. Bye Daddy. 8:30 am. Willow Creek for the "Stupid Bigfoot" parade. Enjoyable. Absolutely Ridiculous. Lunch. Worst food service ever. Exhausted. 2:30pm. Homework. 6:30pm. Service. Topic? Forgiveness. Me? In tears... again. Pathetic. Dramatic. Annoying. Now. 9:50 pm. ready for bed. up at 7 tomorrow. Both services. and more Homework.
Seeing a sucky pattern? Or just me complaining?
Something is missing.
Hello! Did I ever mention God? aside from my epic fail at Bible study. . . due to lack thereof. . . NO. . . you didn't hear me say anything about God. Why? because I ignored Him. All week. Because I am stubborn. And sometimes, I can be seriously selfish. Why? Because. I miss my best friend. I don't want to wake up early. I can't eat normal because my teeth hurt. I am having facebook withdrawals. I am tired. I like to complain too much. I need to STOP saying I. This is NOT about ME. When did I realize this? When someone else asked me to pray for them during worship.. My first thought. "I do not want to sound like an idiot. I don't want to do this. I..." "What are you doing?" "What the heck was that??" "Stop being so selfish." "Oh. . . HEY . . . God . . ." "Pray for this girl. Pray for my child."
Something is missing.
Hello! Did I ever mention God? aside from my epic fail at Bible study. . . due to lack thereof. . . NO. . . you didn't hear me say anything about God. Why? because I ignored Him. All week. Because I am stubborn. And sometimes, I can be seriously selfish. Why? Because. I miss my best friend. I don't want to wake up early. I can't eat normal because my teeth hurt. I am having facebook withdrawals. I am tired. I like to complain too much. I need to STOP saying I. This is NOT about ME. When did I realize this? When someone else asked me to pray for them during worship.. My first thought. "I do not want to sound like an idiot. I don't want to do this. I..." "What are you doing?" "What the heck was that??" "Stop being so selfish." "Oh. . . HEY . . . God . . ." "Pray for this girl. Pray for my child."
I took a breath. Confidence. And I prayed.
And you want to know something? I Feel Free. Changed. Loved. So... HEY God... can I walk with You on the path You want me to take? I'm sick of the one I made.
And isnt this what we talked about the other night???? Lol...that its not about you, its about letting God work through you to heal and help others? I love you! Im glad you are doing better!
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