To Fight Fire With Love

Ten days ago I received a phone call that I never thought I would. My sister's house was burning down and my niece was sleeping in her room where the fire started.  I've never heard that kind of fear in my sister's voice. I rushed to the scene all while praying more desperately than I had ever prayed before.  I got there, after fighting with the firemen to see my family, and ran to my sister and surprisingly happy niece as they watched the house continue to burn.  I hugged my niece harder than I should have and talked with my sister about what was happening.  A faulty heater had started the fire in my niece's room and the smoke alarm went off and warned my brother-in-law and his father about the fire.  My brother-in-law, Billy, grabbed Sophia out of her crib and by the time his father had got to the room with the fire extinguisher, it was too late to fight it.  They tried to fight the flames with the garden hose outside as they waited for the fire department and watched as their home quickly burned. This was at 11 am.

When I got there, the fire was almost out and we watched as they threw the "salvageable" items out the window that broke as they all hit the ground.  My brother-in-law's sister took Sophia to nap and to eat food, since we had no access to anything at this point; the rest of us sat on the ground and watched for hours as the firemen worked. It was around 3 or 4 before we went inside, after a group of men came and helped tarp the roof because it started to rain.  

I've never seen so much devastation in my life.  Downstairs, water was leaking everywhere through the ceiling and outlets.  Everything was covered in a darkness of soot and the smell made me nauseas.  

We made our way to the stairs, only to have our feet stick to the carpet because the heat had melted soot to the carpet. Broken glass littered the staircase and I caught my first glimpse of things that burned.  The loft, which held memories and collectibles, was destroyed. I saw nothing but piles of black and a giant hole in the wall where a window once stood.  The walls to the hallway were charred black and silver, resembling wood after a bonfire.  I felt a breeze to my left and found what was left of my niece's room.  My heart broke, imagining every possibility of "what if," if that smoke alarm hadn't gone off.  Nothing was recognizable, not a single thing in the room stood whole.  The metal to my niece's crib was half buried by soot and crumbled wood.  I watched my baby sister dig through a pile of still hot rubble, desperately searching for the only Christmas picture my sister had of Sophia last year.  I could barely keep it together and I looked through the gaping hole of a window and broken roof.  I wished in that moment to hug my niece again.

When I couldn't look any more, I turned out to the hall to see the guest room at the end of the hall.  It was disgusting.  Anything in the room was charred or covered in some sort of wood chipping from the ceiling falling in. 

I walked back toward my niece's room and turned to my sister's room.  I found her looking for things to save. We had heard the chimney collapse at one point and found half of the bricks in her room, which had fallen through the already collapsed ceiling.  Her room was black as well.  We could make out the bed, the couch, and a coffee table because it was on the opposite side of the room.  Practically everything that was on the floor was melted to the floor.  I found my niece's Christmas jammies stuck on the floor next to one of her little boots that we never found the match to.  The ceiling had been cut out and collapsed down, and the door kicked down because the fire had spread to the roof above their room.  Everything we tried to save was either black, sticky, or completely soaked.  We found my brother-in-law's work ties melted from where they were hanging. Their bed was covered in wood chips and a layer of something sticky.  We all sighed and began digging for what could be salvaged.

The outside

Loft

Room at the end of the hall

Room at the end of the hall

The roof and door fell in on my sister's room

Close to the chimney collapse

This all fell in the corner

Roof in the hall

Sister's room, left. Sophia's room, right.

Sophia's Room: where the fire started

Found color after digging in Sophia's room

The burnt wood was her crib...

The days that have followed have been a struggle, and it wasn't even my home.  I learned a lot in these last ten days, and yes I am going to tell you what that is:  

Hold tight to your loved ones.  We came so close to losing the most precious little girl, and all I kept thinking was if I had kissed her good night or told her that I loved her the night before.

Don't take what you have for granted.  Yes, they are just "things," but when you sit there and say you are hungry and realize that you don't have pans to cook dinner or plates to eat off, it's a harsh reality.  Or when you need to cloth your baby or change her diaper, and realize that her diaper bag was in her room, along with all of her comfort binkies and blankets... it's a harsh reality.

Don't let people struggle alone.  I'm not sure about my sister, but I've clung on to the last 10 days and have to spend a minimum of three hours a day with my family.  Going home alone... it's a harsh reality.

Never. Stop. Seeking. God.  As I panicked on my drive to the fire, I cried to God (quite literally).  When I picked up a photo of my niece that survived the fire, I praised God.  When I had nightmares of "what if" all night for a week, when I woke to my entire family alive, I thanked God.  When I fought with my sister in the grocery store because we had no way to cook them food and we were completely exhausted, I asked God for a solution.  He provided one.  Never. Stop. Seeking. God.  You have no idea where you would be without Him, nor do I think you want to know.

You will get more than you can handle thrown at you.... but you can handle it with God helping you, some much needed baby cuddling, and time.

I am loved by my community, whether church family, blood family, friends, family friends, and even random strangers.  I've never received as much love in this time than I have in my entire life.  Prayer, donations, love, and hugs are what have gotten my family and I through this very difficult time.  From the bottom of my heart, thank you SO much.

I took a photo the morning after the fire, capturing a moment that I never want to forget.  My sister and her boyfriend aren't married, but he is already my family.  He will be my brother-in-law, he loves my sister, he loves my niece, and I'm pretty sure his dad (Papa) loves my niece more.  I realized that amid their desperate times and struggles, there is good.  I posted a quote along with this photo that I live by.  They have found the good.

"Even on the worst days, there is a possibility for joy."

Find joy in everything, on every bad day, in every worst-case scenario.  I've lived it.  In this case, we've fought fire with love.  And we won.