first heartbreak

God moved in my life in extreme ways this week.
Forgiveness. Love. Joy. Peace.
I'm exhausted but happy.
Until I get this phone call.
Devastation fills my heart.
I can't fully comprehend what is happening until I talk about it.
And then the tears flow.
Plans destroyed.
A future no longer seen.
Brokenhearted.
What is this?
Tears?
Over a boy?
Never has this happened to me.
I'm strong. Independent.
Then I stumble.
Why did I allow my heart into this?
Why would i get so involved that heartbreak is even a possibility?
And now all I can do is cry and feel like a child.
I don't do this.
I don't risk my heart.
Because it breaks.
And I don't know how to put it back together.