"Why didn't she want me?"
But I want you
God can speak to you without you even realizing it. A thought can pop in to your head that's not your own (usually what happens to me). A voice may sound. A scripture might speak to you. Someone may be Holy Spirit punched and talk to you (my own frequent occurrence). And the million other ways that God works... but really... He's speaking the same message.
I love you.
In any situation.... there will be triumph, there will be tribulation. But rejoice... because God loves you.
Here's my story...
My mother and I are not on speaking terms. I'd say we're estranged but she sends one or two random texts a month. She left 14 months ago... divorced my father for another man in Arizona who she is now engaged to. Mother's day is my least favorite day of the year. Clearly, you can see why. My heart is so hardened toward her. I had a time where forgiveness occured... I had let go, God took over for all my past hurts. Two weeks later I find out she got engaged... on facebook. She was mad that I didn't comment on her new relationship status. Whatever. I don't want to call her "mom" any more. She never was anyway. I refer to her as my mother. I just don't have the guts to call her by her first name to her face. I'd love to see the hurt I would cause by doing so, but I know that is the devil and not Christ.
So mothers day... not my day. I spent half the day crying. I hate that... I haven't cried in months... I'm happy. She just likes to spoil that happiness. As I am crying out in my car I ask "Why didn't she want me?" over and over again. And then a thought pops into my head But I want you. More tears. Happiness. Joy this time. Ugh. No more pity party for me.
I want you too, God.
But I want you
God can speak to you without you even realizing it. A thought can pop in to your head that's not your own (usually what happens to me). A voice may sound. A scripture might speak to you. Someone may be Holy Spirit punched and talk to you (my own frequent occurrence). And the million other ways that God works... but really... He's speaking the same message.
I love you.
In any situation.... there will be triumph, there will be tribulation. But rejoice... because God loves you.
Here's my story...
My mother and I are not on speaking terms. I'd say we're estranged but she sends one or two random texts a month. She left 14 months ago... divorced my father for another man in Arizona who she is now engaged to. Mother's day is my least favorite day of the year. Clearly, you can see why. My heart is so hardened toward her. I had a time where forgiveness occured... I had let go, God took over for all my past hurts. Two weeks later I find out she got engaged... on facebook. She was mad that I didn't comment on her new relationship status. Whatever. I don't want to call her "mom" any more. She never was anyway. I refer to her as my mother. I just don't have the guts to call her by her first name to her face. I'd love to see the hurt I would cause by doing so, but I know that is the devil and not Christ.
So mothers day... not my day. I spent half the day crying. I hate that... I haven't cried in months... I'm happy. She just likes to spoil that happiness. As I am crying out in my car I ask "Why didn't she want me?" over and over again. And then a thought pops into my head But I want you. More tears. Happiness. Joy this time. Ugh. No more pity party for me.
I want you too, God.
I just read this. It has nothing to do with our conversation earlier :)
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