If you want a good God cry :)

I was going throughmy old journal and I found a few entries from a year ago… about my mom.   I cried. Lately my family has been my first priority outside of God.  Which is how it should be.  For the first time I call them, they callme.  My mom and I talk on occasion… atleast fifteen minute conversations.  Thelast few have been over half an hour or forty-five minutes.  Compared to what I wrote last year… I want tostick my hands straight in the air and say “Praise God!”  I have two entries from one day in Septemberlast year… Hate and Ache. Both about my mom… God has changed my life with my family in a way sodrastic that I cannot keep my emotions down.

September 22, 2011

The end of Hate, “Insteadyou forgot about me, So now I'll forget about you.  How you broke me. How you ruined me.  How you made me hate.  How you made me hate you.  That’s right. I. Hate. You.  And I can’t forgiveyou, love you.  Because you never lovedme.”  A line in Ache, “Hate callouses my unloved heart.  Hate for you creates hate of myself.  Self-conscious, bitter, sad.  Tears flow from my swollen eyes.  Begging for the love I never received.” 

July 7, 2012

Mexico: Tell Mom youlove her.

I just started crying. Joy.  I can’t even describe how myheart feels right now.  I can’t even begin to explain where God has put myfamily in my heart.  I can’t write anymore… I think I’m going to go call my Mom.