Role Reversal

You know, I NEVER thought in my life that my family would play a part in my life. Period. End of story. Not possible. But again, God likes to show off ;)

My friends have been crucial in my life. My rocks, my leaders, my almost family. They lead me on a straight path to Jesus. Loving me. Arguing. Fighting for me. Laughing with me. They provided homes, food, shelter, love. God took where I was and threw me into the loving arms of my friends. We were almost a family. The one thing we lacked was an entire lifetime of knowing each other. The knowledge of just exactly what gets to me, good or bad. The stories as to why I hate guns, or why Christmas is my least favorite holiday, or the fact that my family thought I was quiet until I was 20 years old. However, they were who I had when I didn't have my family. And now it seems the roles have switched. Yes, I have my friends. But I don't have many to confide in... I'd say I have one who I am comfortable talking to and the rest don't seem to care or have moved away. And I am thankful that I still have my mentors who I can talk to about God and ask questions. I realized last week that I don't have much on the "friend" basis besides laughter. And in no way is that discrediting my group of friends, but I feel so much surface level conversation that it bothers me. I know I'm no longer included in most "real" conversations and most people don't want me in them considering the summer I have had. I got that. It hurts but I can't change that. I've had some issues this summer and I have had some break throughs. My friends don't know that, and for a change my family does. My little sister and I hang out almost every day. My neighbors (who call me their daughter and sister) have been there for me through everything and I talk with them. I miss my Dad more than ANYTHING in the world right now. And I wish my sister was here. I still fight with one of my sisters (had to have something normal in there) and I talk on the phone or text with my mom at least once a week. And I'm crying just thinking about what God has done with this just in the last year. All I had were my friends a year ago. And I literally was starved, exiled, then kicked out of my Dad's house by a family who couldn't stand me. I went through a lot of hurt and a HUGE amount of healing...a nd now they're calling me to ask to hang out or if they need help. And my response is only crying. They're who I went to in my break up. They're who I went to after Mexico. They're who I called as soon as I got back from Kids Camp. All I can say is God gave me a miracle. I may still be struggling but I have my family and I have never been able to say that.