Health Update

Life has been pretty.... difficult lately to say the least.
I'm still very sick all the time, taking medication that makes me sleep 13 hours (and if I don't sleep 13 hours I'm sick the next day). I'm impatiently waiting for answers... I can't get into the doctor I need to get into (in Eureka) until the end of June.  Now I have a doctor in San Francisco... he has an appointment for me in two weeks.  Six days before Missions Training in LA.  He doesn't take my insurance and every time I call to get a cost estimate they've gone home for the day (2:30 today!).  My Dad leaves for the Philippines on Monday and I need answers before he leaves... Does anyone want to take a trip with me?  It's Tuesday and Wednesday in San Fran on the 16th and 17th... I'm very afraid to go alone, especially if I get bad news... or any news for that matter.  I haven't even cleared it with Rachel but she is the one who suggested I go out of town anyway so I'm hoping it's okay....
Missions training is in less than three weeks.  I'm excited and in debt.  By the time I go, I'll still be $500 or so short of what I need, so I am going to be taking it out of my ever-shrinking college fund. I stayed low on the fundraising for training because I really just need help with funding for Russia... So unless some of you know anyone willing to donate to training, I'm out of luck.
I feel very short changed lately.  I've had a great few days with my family so that's helped... But I am under a tremendous amount of stress in trying to navigate missions alone and trying to get healthy.  I'm so overwhelmed with this sickness, and I've had to force myself to get through every single day for the last 3 months.... Everyone seems to just be telling me to suck it up and deal with it, if they even say anything at all... when all I want is for someone to hold me and tell me I'll be okay.  It's so scary not knowing what is wrong with me and I've never gotten to talk to anyone about it.  No one wants to hear about it. Three solid months of suffering and people have stopped asking how I'm doing. I feel so alone.
I'm currently navigating the work of missions alone.  I get emails of the next step in paperwork and then off i go.  I have one step left of filling out my budget and I'm off and running.  I have Kim who I ask questions and pester all the time and she helps so I'm not too stressed about it.  But then I think about the fact that I need to be in Russia in 5 months and I start to freak out.  My Russians lessons are on hold right now because of my health and I can't start fundraising until after training.  I'll have 4 months to fundraise about $10,000.... Obviously I'm completely dependent on God for this.  There is no way I can do it alone.
However, I do not have medical clearance any longer to go to Russia.  Yep.  That's right.  I can't go until they diagnose me.  Another stress.  This illness is destroying my life.  I don't know what to do any more.  Seriously.  I live off cereal with lactose free milk, oatmeal, and bagels.  Everything else seems to make me sick.  I'm so beyond frustrated and discouraged with my health issues... I give up trying.... seriously.  I can't do this any more and I'm losing the battle with it.  I'd rather just lay in bed all day... that's the only thing that doesn't hurt or make me sick.  I'm nearly twenty two years old and I have the loneliest and least active life of anyone I know.  Internship, class, bed.  I'm so done.