Christmas Joy

So right now I am laying on my favorite couch at the Lemmon house, with my "Worship and Praise" Pandora Station, blogging by the light of the Christmas tree under an electric blanket, and all I can think about is how blessed I am. There is something different about Christmas this year. My family has been ripped apart this year, and I honestly don't think there will be a Christmas at my house. As much as I am saddened by this, I feel joy. Not for the pain of divorces and segregation, and certainly not from the rejection I have now begun to receive, but for what I do have. It's weird that I'm not looking at the negative side, I am usually a pessimist, but I feel like God has change my heart, at least toward the holidays. Naturally I am not a Christmas fan, the family aspect of it. It was amazing and happy as a kid, but as a teenager, all I remember is sorrow, sadness, and last year, my father crying. My precious father in tears because things were so bad last year. And I still cry from that memory. But right now, I keep staring at this beautiful Christmas tree, as I did at the Kencke's the other night, and I find joy. Joy in the change in myself. Joy in Christmas music. Joy in the many cups of nonfat hot chocolate and hot cider that I wouldn't normally indulge in. Joy in my best friends. Joy in giggling in Starbucks about cute boys, the future, and God spoken relationships. Joy in Bible studies whether required or for fun. Joy in late night phone calls whether happy, stressed, or tear-filled, because the person on the other line is my best friend, sister, and most amazing friend in the world (i have two of them, an no, yours can beat mine!) Joy in constant worship music. Joy in my adopted little brothers ad sisters. Joy in cookie baking with Emilynn and Brooklyn, dance parties, cuddling, kisses, and prayers before bed. Jesus Loves Me with my niece. Dance recitals and smiles on M's face when I tell her we plan on having a girls day with her "twin". Kids and their parents calling me "Tuh-Tuh" (a name I hold dear) as they run up and hug me. Joy in the families who have invited me over for Thanksgiving and Christmas. Joy for helping decorate people's Christmas trees and getting Christmas cards. Joy for the overwhelming smell of Christmas trees and my need for constant "Country Christmas" on Pandora. Joy of what my summer away may hold. Joy that two of my favorite people in the world will be home this weekend and reuniting with my adopted family. Joy in Christmas lights and excitement about having a family at the church to worship and love on Christmas morning. As well ad the traditional Strombeck family afternoon Christmas. I have so much joy that it overwhelms me. There have been times where I have to tell God to slow down because it makes me so happy that I cry. Like right now. Haha. As "enough" plays on my Pandora all I can do is nod my head and believe it. I am exhausted and stressed out and writing sermons and preaching and taking finals, but it seems that every night for the last week God has given me this "joy session" even if it Is just a few minutes. I won't say that it will stay this way after Christmas, because I am pretty sure that will be a very difficult day, so for now I will call it Christmas Joy. And all I can say is Thank you, Lord.