A Resolution of Sorts

For every bad post, I guess there should be a good one :)

I've never been one to make a "new years resolution" of lose weight, read more, pray more often, etc. And I haven't quite done that this year.  However, I have some attitude adjusting to do and things to work on.  So I plan on working on these things.  I wrote it out so I will have it to see how the year went.

First I have a list of how I want to grow in character and such, and then I'll delve into an explanation.

1. Work on trust(ing people)

2. Eat Healthier (everyone says this)

3. Grow in Christ (as always)

4. Read my Bible more (work in progress)

5. Trust God (period.) 

6. Forgive

7. Love Always.

In this new year I'd like to change. Grow in Christ. Doubt Him less.  Love so much more. I cling to God's Love and His Word, desperate for His guidance and plans to be fulfilled. I'd like to become dependent on the Word instead of neglecting it, only turning to it when I feel I HAVE to.

Sometimes... Okay, all the time, I catch myself complaining to Kelsey.  Like every day.  And I know that wears on her, as well as myself.  A constant negative attitude isn't something I need.  I really want to work on it (and have been trying for a few months).  It's hard when there are things that keep happening that make it hard, but I have friends who tell me, in a kind and loving way (some, not so much, I ignore them) when I am annoying them, complaining too much, or just need an attitude check.  It's nice to have those honest and real relationships where we can literally talk about anything and be okay if we are wrong.  These relationships mean too much to me to flounder over a bad attitude so that is something I would really like to change.

I'd like to figure out who I am.  I've gone my whole life with people telling me who to be.  And in Christ, I'd like to discover myself in Him.  I'm 20 years old and I am still figuring out things about myself.  I want to know who I am before this internship is over.  I want to know who I was created to be and live that out in a way that God can be proud of the Child He created.  In the process of figuring out myself, I know my relationship with God will strengthen, as it has in an insane amount this last year.

In 2012, I plan to love always and trust God with all my heart. I plan to not dwell on the past and focus on the plans God has for me and know that His are much better than mine.  I plan to focus less on what I don't have (husband, supportive family) and focus on what I do have (friends, love). I plan to allow my friends to tell me when I am being stupid, complaining too much, and dwelling too often on the negative.  And I won't get offended.  And maybe I'll drink a little less coffee ;)