Conviction

Alright, I've been convicted.  Seriously, this week has been very difficult.  Confrontations.  Dreams that are prophesying about me (truth that I don't know how to interpret).  Stress from my project for this weekend.  My Mom. And now major convictions.

Doubt.
Fear.
Faithless.
Pride.

I am selfish.  God tells me, but in love.  I have this anxiety on my heart because I don't know what to do.  I ask Him what to do, then I get angry.  Because then I sit in silence for days to listen.
Nothing.
I hear nothing.

Why?  Because it's about me.  What am I going to do?  I don't like this.  I want this.  I need that.  Why are you doing this to me? So yeah, there's silence.  I know He's waiting.  But I'm not sure how to let go.  How to give this summer away. 
I'm not going to Seattle.
Zack isn't coming home.
I don't have a job.
Or money.
Or a home.
I literally have nothing.
Except God.
And sometimes I forget that.
Always I forget that.
And now I'm convicted.
But I don't know how to fix it.
Please don't leave me alone. 
Please, talk to me.
HELP ME.